Traditional Fijian Recipe

Before attempting to cook this delight, I recommend that you empty your cupboards of sunburnt, swollen, and blistered feet, tout rip-offs, Delhi-bellies, jars of Getting Lost On An Island At 5am Sauce, dogs that eat camera cases and California sickness.

To begin, you will need (in metric and imperial, just to confuse you):

16oz - 1,000,000oz of kayaking around islands in lake-still oceans
139 tonnes of amazing, incredible, unforgettable people
12g of Kava ceremonies
100 cans of Fiji bitter
12lbs of Barefoot for a Fortnight
1kg of Unshaven for a Fortnight
13oz of singing Wanna Taki Taki around a campfire whilst dancing like a child
200g of Falling Off Tables Whilst Pole Dancing
5 Crab Races
0 Wins
10 games of volleyball
100 photographs of islands in the sun
4 Fuck-Me-Up cocktails
2 nights of sharing an island with just 2 other people
1 foot rub

Throw all of this into a giant cannibal-like cauldron, then after simmering for a day or 2 proceed to add:

12g of unsuccessful fishing trips
70lbs of "The Island Where They Filmed Castaway"
456g of free-bar cruises
18 tonnes of watching sunsets
163lbs of amazing cold showers
7 Varieties of Fijian Islands
18kgs of drinking games
82oz of watching shooting stars whilst laying on eachother
An endless supply of fun and amazing days
And another few tonnes of fantastic people.

Bring to the boil, then season with a touch of parting sadness, and a sprinkle of Promise Of New Zealand and then feel free to devour My Last Two Weeks. It tastes of awesome.